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Eventually.

You'll live and wish
for the moment right before
you first laid eyes on her.
You'll thirst for that ignorance
The moment before everything got
complicated.
The lines blurred.

You'll hunger for that one moment
Endlessly.
The moment right before your soul
was filled with fire,
your heart was filled with need,
and your body filled with desire.
Your consciousness hurled into oblivion,
by the want.

Then you'll realize oblivion isn't that bad.
As lips scorch your skin, as you are pressed back.
Overcome.

You surrender.







Something I wrote (according to my computer) about 2 and a half years ago.  I really like it, and felt like it needed to be put out there.

-Mara

You. Me. An hero. Cocks.

Well, I don't really know what to say when re-starting this journal. We recently moved the VPX to the 1st floor of the beauty school, and it's fun to be in there, with the hope of selling things.

Kat just showed me this!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gN86pWNvls&feature=list_related&playnext=1&list=MLGxdCwVVULXdKJtvS0JEk60BYGWs1yaRU

Tags:

Last day at the coffee shop.

Makes me really really sad.  I seriously love this job to pieces. 

Basically, the reason that it's my last day is because my boss [theresa] didn't want to extend her lease for another year [i think thats what the deal was...] so it went back to the owner of the building [Kevin].  Kevin changed the hours right away, and got started on trying to find someone to lease it for the next year.  As of October 11th, or whatever, the hours have been 7am - 11am Monday-Saturday.  Which means.......I only get to work Saturdays.  This scedule goes until the 22nd.  Apparently, the guy Kevin was trying to lease the place to decided he wanted it.  Because when I got here this morning, there was a sign on the window that said, "We will be Closing wednesday october 22nd for remodeling.  new business opening this november."  Sucky thing, new dude doesn't want me.  Or Theresa.  Or dipshit Ed. 

So I've been job hunting like crazy, and it sucks not having a job.  I had an interview at Old Navy [gasp!] on Thursday.  They wanted me to come back for a second interview yesterday.  After that, Karla [I remembered her name!] said that they had 1 more interview left that day, and if I proved to be the better of the 2 [2!] candidates, she would call me this weekend and set up a time for employee orientation.  So close to being employed!  I really hope I get the job, even if I don't stay for long.  i need to get back on my feet again. Pay off my laptop, put some money in the savings, and still have enough for gas [which is slowly going down!  2.89 a gallon!] .   Being helpless to my debts sucks. 

I just got ungrounded, finally.  I got grounded because somebody... gave me a hickey.  Parents didnt approve.  It had happened once before, and they said that if it happened again, they wouldn't let me go to his house ever again [!].  It happened again.  But they weren't as harsh as they were going to be originally.  I got grounded.  Indefinitely.  Back in early September.  Finally ungrounded now.  But jobless, so i can't really drive all over hanging out with people.  My gasoline is precious. :P 

Which totally reminds me, I have tons of other things I need money for too!   Soonest to farthest away, here is my expenses once I get $$ in my pocket again:
1)  Gas!
2)  Halloween costume
3)  Rocky Horror Picture show at the Warehouse on Halloween
4)  Buckcherry, Saving Abel, Shinedown, and Avenged Sevenfold at the La Crosse Center. Nov 17th!
5)  Laptop
6)  Savings.

Fuck.

I hate being jobless.

On another subject,
It's been really hard for me to follow rules lately.  Especially in school.  Everything about school just pisses me off.  I can't wait till I graduate.  I still can't believe I'm a senior though.  Got our SEP binders yesterday in Senior Soc.  Kind of a reality check for me.  So close, but so far away.  Scary.  Also took our senior class picture yesterday.  I wish I would have worn my kindergarten t-shirt.  The green ones that pretty much every kindergartener got for the dedication ceremony for the elementary school.  Twelve motherfuckin years ago.  I miss childhood. 
I'll wear it for graduation.

<3Mara

I only wanna be with you.

 I'm sitting at work.  Making myself a really wierd Frappe Freeze. :D

Listening to Hootie and the Blowfish, contemplating whether or not I should start reading "A Great And Terrible Beauty" by Libba Bray.  

It's beautiful out today.  The sky is the perfect shade of grey.  It sprinkles off and on, I'd guess the temperature is around the high 60's.  The breeze tugs at me to go outside, but I work for 2 more hours.

My boy woke up super late today.  Said he'd rather call me than shower before work.  He's too good for me, I'm positive.  He's always there, always says he loves me.  After all this time, I still can't believe he's mine.  After all the wanting I went through my Freshman and Sophomore years, and now I've fallen.  Falling in love could be compared to falling off a bridge.  You could land in the water, and go for a nice swim for the rest of your life, or you could hit the rocks and bleed for eternity for what you've missed.  Or, if you live in a big city, you could land in a road and shatter yourself.  Just let everyone run over the pieces. [an overpass is comparable to a bridge]

I like swimming.  I hope I miss the rocks and land in the water.

<3Mara

Brain Bleach.

Ouch.  Brain bleach.  I just heard that phrase used and I think I'm in love with it.

On another topic entirely, I just saw a 40+ year old man skateboard, and then shortly before that saw a woman so large she barely fit in her front seat. 

The kicker?

Her passenger seat had Taco Johns, a big [retail sized] boxy of snickers, and a [retail sized] case of Lays brand chips.

hahahahah

-Mara

Tags:

Awesome random facts.

Sixty Amazing-but-True Facts!

    • In the weightlessness of space a frozen pea will explode if it comes in contact with Pepsi.

       

    • The increased electricity used by modern appliances is causing a shift in the Earth's magnetic field. By the year 2327, the North Pole will be located in mid-Kansas, while the South Pole will be just off the coast of East Africa.

       

    • The idea for "tribbles" in "Star Trek" came from gerbils, since some gerbils are actually born pregnant.

       

    • Male rhesus monkeys often hang from tree branches by their amazing prehensile penises.

       

    • Johnny Plessey batted .331 for the Cleveland Spiders in 1891, even though he spent the entire season batting with a rolled-up, lacquered copy of the Toledo Post-Dispatch.

       

    • Smearing a small amount of dog feces on an insect bite will relieve the itching and swelling.

       

    • The Boeing 747 is capable of flying upside-down if it weren't for the fact that the wings would shear off when trying to roll it over.

       

    • The trucking company Elvis Presley worked at as a young man was owned by Frank Sinatra.

       

    • The only golf course on the island of Tonga has 15 holes, and there's no penalty if a monkey steals your golf ball.

       

    • Legislation passed during WWI making it illegal to say "gesundheit" to a sneezer was never repealed.

       

    • Manatees possess vocal chords which give them the ability to speak like humans, but don't do so because they have no ears with which to hear the sound.

       

    • SCUBA divers cannot pass gas at depths of 33 feet or below.

       

    • Catfish are the only animals that naturally have an ODD number of whiskers.

       

    • Replying more than 100 times to the same piece of spam e-mail will overwhelm the sender's system and interfere with their ability to send any more spam.

       

    • Polar bears can eat as many as 86 penguins in a single sitting.

       

    • The first McDonald's restaurant opened for business in 1952 in Edinburgh, Scotland, and featured the McHaggis sandwich.

       

    • The Air Force's F-117 fighter uses aerodynamics discovered during research into how bumblebees fly.

       

    • You *can* get blood from a stone, but only if contains at least 17 percent bauxite.

       

    • Silly Putty was "discovered" as the residue left behind after the first latex condoms were produced. It's not widely publicized for obvious reasons.

       

    • Approximately one-sixth of your life is spent on Wednesdays.

       

    • The skin needed for elbow transplants must be taken from the scrotum of a cadaver.

       

    • The sport of jai alai originated from a game played by Incan priests who held cats by their tails and swung at leather balls. The cats would instinctively grab at the ball with their claws, thus enabling players to catch them.

       

    • A cat's purr has the same romance-enhancing frequency as the voice of singer Barry White.

       

    • The typewriter was invented by Hungarian immigrant Qwert Yuiop, who left his "signature" on the keyboard.

       

    • The volume of water that the Giant Sequoia tree consumes in a 24-hour period contains enough suspended minerals to pave 17.3 feet of a 4-lane concrete freeway.

       

    • King Henry VIII slept with a gigantic axe.

       

    • Because printed materials are being replaced by CD-ROM, microfiche and the Internet, libraries that previously sank into their foundations under the weight of their books are now in danger of collapsing in extremely high winds.

       

    • In 1843, a Parisian street mime got stuck in his imaginary box and consequently died of starvation.

       

    • Touch-tone telephone keypads were originally planned to have buttons for Police and Fire Departments, but they were replaced with * and # when the project was cancelled in favor of developing the 911 system.

       

    • Human saliva has a boiling point three times that of regular water.

       

    • Calvin, of the "Calvin and Hobbes" comic strip, was patterned after President Calvin Coolidge, who had a pet tiger as a boy.

       

    • Watching an hour-long soap opera burns more calories than watching a three-hour baseball game.

       

    • Until 1978, Camel cigarettes contained minute particles of real camels.

       

    • You can actually sharpen the blades on a pencil sharpener by wrapping your pencils in aluminum foil before inserting them.

       

    • To human taste buds, Zima is virtually indistinguishable from zebra urine.

       

    • Seven out of every ten hockey-playing Canadians will lose a tooth during a game. For Canadians who don't play hockey, that figure drops to five out of ten.

       

    • A dog's naked behind leaves absolutely no bacteria when pressed against carpet.

       

    • A team of University of Virginia researchers released a study promoting the practice of picking one's nose, claiming that the health benefits of keeping nasal passages free from infectious blockages far outweigh the negative social connotations.

       

    • Among items left behind at Osama bin Laden's headquarters in Afghanistan were 27 issues of Mad Magazine. Al Qaeda members have admitted that bin Laden is reportedly an avid reader.

       

    • Urine from male cape water buffaloes is so flammable that some tribes use it for lantern fuel.

       

    • At the first World Cup championship in Uruguay, 1930, the soccer balls were actually monkey skulls wrapped in paper and leather.

       

    • Every Labrador retriever dreams about bananas.

       

    • If you put a bee in a film canister for two hours, it will go blind and leave behind its weight in honey.

       

    • Due to the angle at which the optic nerve enters the brain, staring at a blue surface during sex greatly increases the intensity of orgasms.

       

    • Never hold your nose and cover your mouth when sneezing, as it can blow out your eyeballs.

       

    • Centuries ago, purchasing real estate often required having one or more limbs amputated in order to prevent the purchaser from running away to avoid repayment of the loan. Hence an expensive purchase was said to cost "an arm and a leg."

       

    • When Mahatma Gandhi died, an autopsy revealed five gold Krugerrands in his small intestine.

       

    • Aardvarks are allergic to radishes, but only during summer months.

       

    • Coca-Cola was the favored drink of Pharaoh Ramses. An inscription found in his tomb, when translated, was found to be almost identical to the recipe used today.

       

    • If you part your hair on the right side, you were born to be carnivorous. If you part it on the left, your physical and psychological make-up is that of a vegetarian.

       

    • When immersed in liquid, a dead sparrow will make a sound like a crying baby.

       

    • In WWII the US military planned to airdrop over France propaganda in the form of Playboy magazine, with coded messages hidden in the models' turn-ons and turn-offs. The plan was scrapped because of a staple shortage due to rationing of metal.

       

    • Although difficult, it's possible to start a fire by rapidly rubbing together two Cool Ranch Doritos.

       

    • Napoleon's favorite type of wood was knotty chestnut.

       

    • The world's smartest pig, owned by a mathematics teacher in Madison, WI, memorized the multiplication tables up to 12.

       

    • Due to the natural "momentum" of the ocean, saltwater fish cannot swim backwards.

       

    • In ancient Greece, children of wealthy families were dipped in olive oil at birth to keep them hairless throughout their lives.

       

    • It is nearly three miles farther to fly from Amarillo, Texas to Louisville, Kentucky than it is to return from Louisville to Amarillo.

       

    • The "nine lives" attributed to cats is probably due to their having nine primary whiskers.

       

    • The original inspiration for Barbie dolls comes from dolls developed by German propagandists in the late 1930s to impress young girls with the ideal notions of Aryan features. The proportions for Barbie were actually based on those of Eva Braun.

       

    • The Venezuelan brown bat can detect and dodge individual raindrops in mid-flight, arriving safely back at his cave completely dry.


http://www.topfive.com/arcs/t5050302.shtml

And your point is....?

You know, when people define "blog"  they usually say something along the lines of a digital diary.  How can this be my diary if I can't write whatever I'm thinking.  If I can't be completely truthful, or open, how can it be a diary?

Definition

Defining myself.

Mara is...
-a dreamer
-a peace-lover
-a lover and a fighter
-independent
-free
-loud
-crazy
-a music-lover
-freakishly organized
-crazy messy
-thirsty
-hungry
-easily excited
-content
-in love
-happy with her job
-wishing life would clean itself up
-a bed bug
-an insomniac
-loving nature
-careful
-careless
-unable to contain herself
-wishful
-a peaceful person
-random
-lonely
-complete
-a make-up doll
-not a Barbie doll
-small-chested
-annoying
-loving
-anguished
-in need of something
-exotic
-vegetarian

Across the Universe

    Ah, I'm listening to songs from Across the Universe.  The Beatles definitely had it right.  Nobody seems to understand how far peace and love can take you, even now.  People think that the "hippie era" is over, but baby, it's just beginning.  If only there was some way of spreading the thought that hasn't been done before. I don't want to protest the war [though I should], I don't want to rally against the government [though Bush needs to see our unhappiness], I just want to spread the thought that peace is the way to happiness.  Everyone is going and going all day long, nobody understands that simplicity, even complex simplicity is the way to enjoying your life.  People need to slow down, take a look at how their every action affects those around them.  It can be so simple, as to say "Have a nice day" if you work at a service job.  Many teenagers think that the whole "Have a nice day" crap is a corporate suck-up procedure.  And, well, it kinda is.  But the thing is, these companies have done their research, they know [scientifically] how little comments like that affect a person's day and the way they look at the immediate stimulus. 

    So, to all the people who [don't] read this blog.  Go out of your way today to be nice.  Hold doors open, say you're sorry when you cut someone off, tell someone to "have a nice day."  Take the time to realize how far positivity and peaceful attitudes can get you.

<3Mara
    So, here I am, at work.  Listening to Savage Garden on XM.  Rad.

    Anyways, since the last time I wrote [it was a while ago, wasn't it?] I got a new job, a new car, and my life has become something I love to live every day.

    I now work at Black River Coffee.  Target and the whole "corporate agenda" was really getting on my nerves, and I restless there, so it was time to go.  It just so happened that the day I decide I needed to leave, a girl named Theresa [a friend of my cousin Anthony's] posted a Marketplace listing on Facebook.  Looking for a Barista.  So I applied.  And got the job, fairly fast. 
    My new car is a Ford Escort Wagon.  It drives nice, and has ice cold AC.  What else could a girl ask for?  I'm not thrilled it's a Ford, but you take what you can get.  After all, I didn't buy the car.  My parents wanted me to have a more reliable car than the Celebrity, so they bought me a new one.  I watched the Celebrity drive away yesterday afternoon, to another owner.  I'm not going to say I'm not a little bit sad, but I'm glad for the change.
    This upcoming school year, I'm going to be a senior.  I'm going to be taking half days at the High School, and then going to Western Technical College for a Web Design class.  Which means driving a lot, every day.  Which is why my parents bought me a new car.
   
    My new job is awesome.  It's at a drive-up coffee shop.  So, basically, when we don't have customers, I sit here online, or read, or listen to XM radio.

Breaking Dawn comes out tonight.  I'm going to Barnes and Noble right when I get done with work at 6, and staying until I get my copy.  Can't wait!

Went to a party 2 nights ago.  It was Wherry's birthday.  Had fun.  I think. :D

<3Mara